Weekly Musings
Hey girl, let’s have a chat. I’m going to need you to stop minimizing your emotions and calling them “stupid.” The situation you are in where you are experiencing these emotions might be stupid, but the emotions themselves are not. You feel how you feel, and that’s fine. It’s cool to feel. Love, sadness, frustration, happiness, and contentment are important feelings that you should always acknowledge. You might not be able to do anything about these feelings in the moment, but acknowledging and accepting them is important. If you don’t, they are likely to make their presence known at a very inconvenient time, like a family holiday or in the middle of sex.
I’m not sure who told you it wasn’t ok to have emotions or that denying them made you cooler, but it fucking doesn’t. Denial is powerful but eventually erodes, and self-deprecation is only funny to a point. The sooner you feel it, the sooner you can move on. So be a cool girl and own how you feel.
Cool Girls Have Emotions
“If they wanted to they would.” It’s a phrase many of us have become familiar with over the last few years and while it is true…it’s also not as black and white as it seems. If someone is prioritizing you they will be in consistently good communication. They won’t leave you on read for hours, if not days, at a time. Additionally, they will want to carry on a conversation with you that is more than just “Hey.” And yet, sometimes people just aren’t in the right headspace. It isn’t that they don’t like you or want to be in your life, they just might not be mentally capable of participating.
Cards on the table, some of us just fucking can’t right now and it isn’t about you. So, before you write someone off for not getting back to you in a timely fashion, ask them if they are ok. If they give you some bullshit response of “Oh yeah just lost track of time” or “I didn’t have my phone with me,” (when you know damn well they were on Instagram an hour ago) I permit you to roll your eyes and set some good boundaries. If someone is giving you the run-around you don’t need to give them all your energy. Take a step back and reprioritize.
However, if they are honest and tell you what has actually been happening, cut them some slack. You may need to reprioritize if your needs aren’t being met, but for the moment take a breath. Realize that we all have shit going on in our lives and sometimes we just can’t and nothing that someone says or does is going to help in that moment. While the line may seem thin between these two trains of thought - trust your gut, and if your gut sucks explain the situation to the sanest friend you have and go from there.
If They Wanted To They Would
(but what if they can’t?)
— Quote source