Weekly Musings
To Vegas or Not Vegas
Vegas is for the young. There, I said it, so you don’t fucking have to. When I first arrived in Vegas 11 years ago, I was charmed by its shiny lights and bravado; I was in Vegas, baby! It was a beautiful sight. Combine twinkling lights with tickets to see Britney Spears at Planet Hollywood and an $800 win on a slot machine, and it was easy to overlook the strip's creepiness at night.
Fast forward to today and I’m suddenly overwhelmed by how many families with young children think this family vacation spot. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! This town is no place for a child’s eyes - I don’t care how many swimming pools your hotel has. Also, how does it feel like 1am, but in reality, it’s only 9pm? What kind of time warp did I fly into?
If you’ve never been to Vegas - think of Times Square in New York x10, and you’ll have a vague idea of what I’m talking about. Sure, it’s flashy and fun, but it is also overrun by those who don’t know how to handle their liquor and young women who look like baby giraffes when walking in heels. This isn’t really a problem when you are in your 20s or early 30s, but as you move further into adulthood, this becomes less and less appealing. Now, as a woman in my 40s, I am forced to face the reality of high ATM fees, slot machines I don’t quite understand, and rude drunk walkers at the Bellagio Fountain.
While I don’t see myself returning to this desert town anytime soon (unless I’m engaging in a quick wedding), I think the best way to do it now is to pick a great hotel and never leave - no more strip, just a pool, a good show, shopping at a mall connected to the hotel, and a spa day. Maybe a brief dip into the casino if I’m feeling lucky, but overall just keep it simple.
Enjoy this town while you’re young folks, and don’t let it steal your soul
There’s Something About Luigi
Usually, when writing my weekly musing, I try to focus on relationships, self-growth, etc. While I enjoy discussing pop-culture moments, they can be decisive, and I'd like this to be a more neutral space. However, this week, I couldn't hold back.
What the fuck is happening with Luigi Mangione? How does he look this attractive during court appearances? I legitimately want to know. Are inmates giving him tips on how to dress or advice on how to use the light effectively? Because this man is the Mariah Carey of criminals. He is using all his angles, and every photo looks like someone took it for Rolling Stone. Is Annie Leibovitz moonlighting as a photog for New York Courts?
This 26-year-old seems to have captivated the nation, and I'm...here for it? Honestly, I am very confused about my feelings surrounding this man's hotness. I hate to equate it to Ted Bundy because Bundy was a serial killer/horrible-fucking-human, and Luigi has only been charged with one murder. And yet, the fascination feels very similar. Also, I love how I'm like, 'Yeah, you know, just one murder charge.' Oof. Apparently, I'm not done with toxic men.
Regardless of your feelings on what he has been accused of (the opinions are all over the map), I think we can all agree that he looks great in brown loafers. I never thought a man could make leg irons look kinda hot, but I officially stand corrected.
Over The Hustle
I’m so over hustle culture. Some might balk at that statement, but I don’t know what to tell you; it’s trash cans. I don’t fault anyone for engaging in it because you gotta do you. However, now the mentality feels toxic.
Hustle culture used to be about motivation, pushing yourself to make a little extra cash or finish a project early. Now it’s been weaponized against those who chose a different path. I used to be about this life and would push myself to the brink because it’s what I thought I should do to make “my mark.” Even writing those words has me rolling my eyes because now I can see how misguided it is.
It isn’t about hustling harder; it’s about working smarter and protecting your sanity. How do you expect to do your best work when you don’t build in enough time to decompress? You can’t live on adrenaline forever because when you crash, and you will, the hit will be greater than you can imagine. Look, I know that for some people, work helps them relieve stress, and they are happy with their hustle mentality. This is absolutely fine. Do you, but don’t pressure others to do the same or think less of them because they don’t subscribe to your thought process.
Bottom line: you don’t have to hustle. Prioritize your time well and take care of business. If you feel like doing a little more work one day - do it, but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t. Knowing yourself and your limits is key. You will always leave a mark on the ones you love; they will remember - randoms on the internet matter far less.
Conspiracy Party of One
Cards on the table: I don’t think of myself as a conspiracy theorist, but I have been known to stick a toe into the conspiracy pool. However, after recently grasping the depths of technology integration, I’m fully willing to embrace the idea that robots will take over.
How did I come to this conclusion? Well, this weekend, I learned that not only was my phone “listening,” but it was also “learning.” That’s right, it is learning. Now, what I’m about to tell you is just for iPhones...so android users rejoice? Anyway, if you go into your settings, tap on Siri, and then look under apps, you will see that Siri is actively learning about how you use an app so it can make suggestions across other apps.
This actively scares the shit out of me. I don’t need Siri getting all up in my banking apps and making “suggestions.” Muddling through my finances is my job and my job alone - suggestions are not welcome at this time, so kindly fuck off.
While I have been aware for some time that my phone does listen and make suggestions, to see it say it was learning was just too much. I saw iRobot, and quite frankly, I don’t think enough people have really thought about the robot takeover. Obtaining this knowledge really put it in perspective for me that we are closer to this reality than I would have thought.
This might not bother all, but it may bother some. As such, I suggest adding a little more privacy while we still have it.
Conspiracy theorist out.
Make The Cut
This weekly musing may seem harsh for a Monday, but it’s necessary. We have to start normalizing cutting people out. Now, I’m very aware that this will make some people very uncomfortable, and to those individuals, I say - you probably need this advice the most.
We all have those people to whom we give too much of our energy and get very little in return. They drain our batteries and leave us without a charger, yet we still choose to engage with them. Why is this? Do we feel some obligation? Do we fear the consequence of leaving them behind? The reasons for keeping an individual like this in our lives may vary, but at the end of the day, this type of relationship isn’t sustainable.
Cutting these individuals out of your life isn’t easy, especially if you are romantically involved, but it will be worth it. If you are dating this type of person and want to cut them out - it will just be a good old-fashioned breakup. However, I recommend you cut all contact - friendship will be too hard, and they will inevitably suck you back in.
If it is a friend you need to cut, I have good news - this process is more straightforward. You simply back out slowly and set boundaries. If this is a friendship where a friend is really needy for no particular reason, you could stop picking up the phone after a certain time or put more distance between texts. They might make a fuss, but chances are they will just move on to the next friend. If it’s a friendship where you put in all the effort, just stop. You’ll find that friendship dissolves on its own because the nature of it was one-sided to begin with.
This probably wasn’t the weekly musing you thought you’d get, but after experiencing a hard truth this weekend, I had to put it here. I’ve spent far too much of my time maintaining a friendship that I know would completely fizzle if I wasn’t doing the work, and in 2025, this simply won’t do.
Make the cut.
I’ve gotta be honest, my generation has come up with some truly shit ways of describing things (geriatric millennial anyone?), but for me, nothing takes the cake like “girlboss.” Once a book, then an unsuccessful TV show, and now fodder for memes. While I know the intent behind the term was meant to empower women, in many ways, it does the opposite.
I’m not a girlboss - I’m a fucking boss. You don’t need to put a gendered term in front of the word, and certainly not one that denotes that my brain might not be fully formed. Why would you want to embrace a term that others can roll their eyes at? You think the men in the c-suite want to be thought of as a “boyboss?” I can assure you they don’t, but I would love to be able to call them that.
I understand the desire to reclaim a word, but in this circumstance I don’t think “girl” is the way to go. I certainly don’t mind being “one of the girls” in social settings. However, if I’m flexing power in my job, the last thing I want is for somebody to say “wow what a girlboss.” Gross - did you see my power go right out the window? I did and it sucked.
Adult women in the workforce are not children, and for us as women, to refer to one another that way does nothing to help us move forward in the world. We are bosses, period.
No More Girlbossing
Is it banned, or is it not banned? Who the fuck knows. Unless you went social media-free this past week, you have undoubtedly been bombarded with the news that TikTok was set to disappear on Sunday…which it did? But then didn’t? Whatever, I’m not here to talk about the ins and outs of restoration; I’m here to talk about the inevitable: the day when TikTok will finally die.
Like MySpace and Vine, TikTok will come to an end. The glory days of the app will be gone (if they aren’t already), and you, the user, will need to come to grips with the fact that the internet just isn’t what it used to be. As an elder millennial, I’ve lived through several “app deaths,” and the truth is, you will get the fuck over it. You will move on, and in a matter of days, you will find something else to occupy your time as you try to avoid the real world. Either that or it will become too “cheugy” (did I use that word correctly?) - just like Facebook.
While I understand that for many of you, this is the first time you have struggled with letting go of a social media platform, I can assure you that you will get over it. You will move on and start saying things like “remember that one TikTok,” thus becoming what you hate…a person who lives for nostalgia. To those who make money off this app, trust me when I say there is always another app, and you will continue to get your bag.
And with that, I encourage you to enjoy it while you can!
xoxo - your fav elder millennial
The Ban
“If they wanted to they would.” It’s a phrase many of us have become familiar with over the last few years and while it is true…it’s also not as black and white as it seems. If someone is prioritizing you they will be in consistently good communication. They won’t leave you on read for hours, if not days, at a time. Additionally, they will want to carry on a conversation with you that is more than just “Hey.” And yet, sometimes people just aren’t in the right headspace. It isn’t that they don’t like you or want to be in your life, they just might not be mentally capable of participating.
Cards on the table, some of us just fucking can’t right now and it isn’t about you. So, before you write someone off for not getting back to you in a timely fashion, ask them if they are ok. If they give you some bullshit response of “Oh yeah just lost track of time” or “I didn’t have my phone with me,” (when you know damn well they were on Instagram an hour ago) I permit you to roll your eyes and set some good boundaries. If someone is giving you the run-around you don’t need to give them all your energy. Take a step back and reprioritize.
However, if they are honest and tell you what has actually been happening, cut them some slack. You may need to reprioritize if your needs aren’t being met, but for the moment take a breath. Realize that we all have shit going on in our lives and sometimes we just can’t and nothing that someone says or does is going to help in that moment. While the line may seem thin between these two trains of thought - trust your gut, and if your gut sucks explain the situation to the sanest friend you have and go from there.
If They Wanted To They Would
(but what if they can’t?)
Hey girl, let’s have a chat. I’m going to need you to stop minimizing your emotions and calling them “stupid.” The situation you are in where you are experiencing these emotions might be stupid, but the emotions themselves are not. You feel how you feel, and that’s fine. It’s cool to feel. Love, sadness, frustration, happiness, and contentment are important feelings that you should always acknowledge. You might not be able to do anything about these feelings in the moment, but acknowledging and accepting them is important. If you don’t, they are likely to make their presence known at a very inconvenient time, like a family holiday or in the middle of sex.
I’m not sure who told you it wasn’t ok to have emotions or that denying them made you cooler, but it fucking doesn’t. Denial is powerful but eventually erodes, and self-deprecation is only funny to a point. The sooner you feel it, the sooner you can move on. So be a cool girl and own how you feel.
Cool Girls Have Emotions
— Quote source